I wish I had a time machine, not to go and visit some historic event, make a bet and win a fortune or meet a famous person.
I wish I had a time machine so I could go and visit my son. My beautiful boy, born sleeping on the 17th of December 2006. I would tell myself not to cry,” I want to go home’ as I gave birth to my precious little Bob. I would take my time bathing him. I would take more photo’s and not have most of my pics of him on a disposable birth pad. I would not send my son to the morgue after spending barley a few hours with him. I would keep him with me all night, hold him and remind myself to take it all in. This wil be it, these moment are all I will have for a lifetime. I would remember to allow family waiting at home, to come to hospital and meet my son. I would take prints of his hands and feet. I would snuggle him into a blanket, make sure he is warm and safe. I would remember to add more personal touches to his little white coffin. I would try to say more, as I stood up and did his little eulogy. I would stop and take my time as I said good bye. I would not pretend I was fine after the funeral. I would cry more. I would ask people, why they thought my precious little boy, only deserved three sympathy cards. I would…… I would do so many things.
I have no time machine. I can not change what has been done. I have to live with decisions that have been made.
No one speaks of him, this saddens me and at times I feel so alone.
I remember Bob everyday. I still miss my son very much. I love him everyday, forever and always.
I have no time machine but I remember…..
That is all I can do.
I wish I had a time machine so I could go and visit my son. My beautiful boy, born sleeping on the 17th of December 2006. I would tell myself not to cry,” I want to go home’ as I gave birth to my precious little Bob. I would take my time bathing him. I would take more photo’s and not have most of my pics of him on a disposable birth pad. I would not send my son to the morgue after spending barley a few hours with him. I would keep him with me all night, hold him and remind myself to take it all in. This wil be it, these moment are all I will have for a lifetime. I would remember to allow family waiting at home, to come to hospital and meet my son. I would take prints of his hands and feet. I would snuggle him into a blanket, make sure he is warm and safe. I would remember to add more personal touches to his little white coffin. I would try to say more, as I stood up and did his little eulogy. I would stop and take my time as I said good bye. I would not pretend I was fine after the funeral. I would cry more. I would ask people, why they thought my precious little boy, only deserved three sympathy cards. I would…… I would do so many things.
I have no time machine. I can not change what has been done. I have to live with decisions that have been made.
No one speaks of him, this saddens me and at times I feel so alone.
I remember Bob everyday. I still miss my son very much. I love him everyday, forever and always.
I have no time machine but I remember…..
That is all I can do.
1 comments:
Me too :0(. If only hun ((((( )))) xxx
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